End of the Challenge

Okay, time for reviewing the past 18 months. So much has happened and yet so much has stayed the same. Well, I turned 50 - that happened and isn't changing. Still haven't decided how I feel about that yet. Finances are still a mess but this time last year I got a windfall completely out of the blue which gave me a chance to try something different. Health wise things went from bad to worse to getting better now. Spiritually, well, I don't know what to say. I'm slowly getting back in touch with my soul .... it never stopping singing but I stopped listening to that soft sweet music and I've paid a price for my self imposed deafness.  

My Health: I've lost 50 pounds and I have more energy and flexibility. I'm starting to feel like myself again ... strange how you lose yourself when you gain a lot of weight. My ulcerative colitis is giving me quite the fight but I'm slowly winning this one. I would like to lose another 50 pounds by following a diet that makes me feel good and by increasing my exercise when my energy levels are up to it. I'm winning this challenge no matter how long it takes.  

My Finances: UNCLE! Okay, I cried uncle! That's it. Enough. This time last year I received a windfall - a really nice one but it just disappeared as all money that comes my way does. I'm back to holding my breath at the end of the month as bills get paid. There is a saying in the AA meeting rooms that someone close to me thinks might help .... "let go and let God". I think it's time for me to give it a try. The bills do get paid, there is food in the cupboard, I live in a very nice house with lots of beautiful things around me and help comes to me when I really need it. My mantra is now - let go, let go, let go. Let's see what happens.  

My Spirituality: I've had an Oprah AHA moment .... I've been so focused on losing weight and becoming wealthy that I thought reading books and finding a church or group was all that was needed to become "more spiritual". Nope. Nope. Nope. I have been blessed in this lifetime to know that my soul sings but for some reason I stopped listening. I need to listen to the singing ... if I can focus on that then everything else - health, finances, etc. - will all fall into place.

Overall, my biggest lesson learned during the challenge has been that "knowing" things means nothing if you don't "do" something with that knowledge. I've let my life become inert ... hopefully things are starting to move in the right direction now. Let go, let go, let go ...... in peace, with love.