17 Months .....

Last Sunday morning was spent in a parking lot in Scarborough ... well, Lynne had a work thing to do and Brandon (our son) and I went along for the ride.  It was a scanky little plaza with an Asian grocery store as the anchor and a bunch of discount clothing stores.  Brandon and I walked for about an hour down the main street and back but there wasn't much to see or do as it was early Sunday morning.  In the plaza was a small Asian bakery - Lynne fell in love.  Brandon mentioned that those bakeries are all over Toronto and my comment was that there would be tons of interesting eating/grocery places in Toronto followed by ... let's move to Toronto! ... she said yes. Hunh!  Wasn't expecting that but boy was I energized, which got me to thinking ....

Cambridge is boring!  It's a great place to raise a family and to do outdoorsy things but really and truly not a stimulating place for me.  It has been a good place for us to heal after the business failure but I think that it's time to find a healthier place (mentally) for us.  Is it Toronto?  I'm not sure but it would be fun to explore the different neighbourhoods and see if one seems to fit us best.  I'm not sure that Lynne's work would transfer her as they tend to want to keep people in the positions that they are successful at but I do know who the competition is in Toronto.....they might be hiring.   I would probably find work where ever we go - it would be easier in Toronto. 

Seventeen months .... that's giving us another year in this place.   There are things that need to be taken care of and/or settled before doing a major move to a new place.  Finances need to be in good order, jobs in place, stuff gone through and cleaned out. Cars fixed and what to do about parking decided - well that I already know we would get rid of one car for sure as both Lynne and I would prefer to be near the subway or major bus line. 

My health is much better but my weight has been creeping up to scary numbers again and that, I need to address.  Just thinking about moving to Toronto is energizing for me... making me want to get ready for all the walking that I would be doing.  Eat less move more ... easy to say but oh, so hard to do at times.  Seventeen months is more than long enough for radical changes in my health, wealth and general life.  Here goes! 

Forward Ho!

Hello Everyone,

Yes, I know. I've been quiet for too long but not anymore.   Ready?  I'm not....but here goes anyway.

Fear and anger.  That is what has been holding me back.  I'll deal with with them as the days go by but I've come to realize that it's time to take a deep breath, find my courage and move on. I want to be a happiness coach well, let's call it life coaching - not so out there.  For the past 15 years I've been reading all kinds of self improvement books, finding all kinds of internet sites and generally collecting a ton of information - some that I could personally use but most of it just interesting.  When I asked the universe what to do with all that I have been collecting... well, let me tell you - I was bombarded with coaching books, websites etc. and yet I still keep dragging my feet.  No longer.

I have a few days to myself this coming week and I plan on making a major move towards setting myself up.   There are some courses that eventually I'll sign up for so that I can get certified but at this time personally coaching is still generally unregulated  and I plan on diving in head first so to speak.   I'm ready for this in so many ways as long as I can move past the fear.  I'll use my anger as fuel to keep me on track - funny how much I can accomplish when I'm angry.  What am I angry about?  I'm not really sure yet but I will slowly work on it, accept it, move past it.  Finally, it's time to get unstuck and get busy becoming whatever and whomever I was meant to be .... wish me luck!

In love and peace .... La

Is it September Already?

Wow!  Have I got a serious case of procrastination.   Even easy things like cleaning off my desk are becoming huge inner battles and I'm losing.  I have just finished a week off and instead of returning to work refreshed with a sense of accomplishment, all I have is a feeling of lost time.  That is the main issue I have with inertia - lost time - which can lead to regret.  Oh, don't get me started with "regret" .... nasty little habit that.  So I can talk and talk and talk about this and write and write and write about it too but how to turn the tide.  I hear and understand everyone who says 'take one small step towards what you want' but it's driving me nuts trying to get that small step in.  Every time that I try, it seems to increase the inertia.

Well, it's September and I'm writing this so hey, that's one small step done.   Will let you know how it goes.

Time to Organize

The past month has been challenging on the health front.... starting with a weekend of stomach flu followed by an adverse reaction to a colon scope a few days later that lasted for 2 weeks.   I'm feeling much better now and am ready to get started.  This week is for organizing.  I realized that my desk has become a dumping ground again and that always reflects my emotions.  Surprisingly, cleaning and organizing externally helps me do the same internally... I've learnt that over the past few years.  I also want to start using the treadmill again and will be going down to the basement and logging in 15 minutes every night this week.   I've decided to start small and gradually work up to 45 minutes of exercising/day - 6 days a week.  I will also try to arrange my schedule so that I actually have one day a week for complete rest and relaxation....Sunday will be easiest to do this I think.  That's lots for me to get going with so off I go .....

New Challenges

Okay, I've been adjusting to the fact that I turned 50 years old.  There has definitely been a feeling of lost time, things that I haven't done and probably wont.  That ends today.  Time for some fun and a chance to accomplish some things that have been lurking at the back of my mind.

So what are the challenges?  Well, let's start with my health: my colitis has been preoccupying my attention and it's time to put it on a back burner and focus on overall health.  My goals are to eat healthier by removing as much packaged/premade foods as I can....to eat as clean as possible, to find different ways to bring physical movement back to my life, and to remove unwanted stress or at least find coping mechanisms that reduce stress' effects on my body... meditation, tai chi.   Once I can get these in place the end result should be to get my weight to 140 pounds(from 200) and to be energized and full of life.

Financially I've been in a rut.  There are times when I can see a slight change but then I fall back into old patterns going back to living a life of lack.  When I think back to my late teens, when everyone was asking me what I was going to do, my answer was that I planned on being a millionaire but the time I was thirty.  Well, they laughed at that .... only one person actually thought I could do it but unfortunately she was not the one I listened to.   Time to change that.  I'm well past thirty but what the heck, it would be fun to be a millionaire n'est pas?

Spiritually?  I think its time to tap into my creative self.  Write more maybe even a book.  Have fun with my appearance...steampunk maybe.   Live more of a comic book life - vibrant colours, surround myself with unique items, explore what makes me smile, find out what it is that I really want.

I'm not setting a time limit on this challenge.   I will over the next few weeks detail some of the steps that I plan on following to get me started.  Life changing .... that is my end goal, my start goal, my new lifelong plan.

End of the Challenge

Okay, time for reviewing the past 18 months. So much has happened and yet so much has stayed the same. Well, I turned 50 - that happened and isn't changing. Still haven't decided how I feel about that yet. Finances are still a mess but this time last year I got a windfall completely out of the blue which gave me a chance to try something different. Health wise things went from bad to worse to getting better now. Spiritually, well, I don't know what to say. I'm slowly getting back in touch with my soul .... it never stopping singing but I stopped listening to that soft sweet music and I've paid a price for my self imposed deafness.  

My Health: I've lost 50 pounds and I have more energy and flexibility. I'm starting to feel like myself again ... strange how you lose yourself when you gain a lot of weight. My ulcerative colitis is giving me quite the fight but I'm slowly winning this one. I would like to lose another 50 pounds by following a diet that makes me feel good and by increasing my exercise when my energy levels are up to it. I'm winning this challenge no matter how long it takes.  

My Finances: UNCLE! Okay, I cried uncle! That's it. Enough. This time last year I received a windfall - a really nice one but it just disappeared as all money that comes my way does. I'm back to holding my breath at the end of the month as bills get paid. There is a saying in the AA meeting rooms that someone close to me thinks might help .... "let go and let God". I think it's time for me to give it a try. The bills do get paid, there is food in the cupboard, I live in a very nice house with lots of beautiful things around me and help comes to me when I really need it. My mantra is now - let go, let go, let go. Let's see what happens.  

My Spirituality: I've had an Oprah AHA moment .... I've been so focused on losing weight and becoming wealthy that I thought reading books and finding a church or group was all that was needed to become "more spiritual". Nope. Nope. Nope. I have been blessed in this lifetime to know that my soul sings but for some reason I stopped listening. I need to listen to the singing ... if I can focus on that then everything else - health, finances, etc. - will all fall into place.

Overall, my biggest lesson learned during the challenge has been that "knowing" things means nothing if you don't "do" something with that knowledge. I've let my life become inert ... hopefully things are starting to move in the right direction now. Let go, let go, let go ...... in peace, with love.

Last Month

Wowee that was fast! One month left. Have I learned anything in the past 17 months? Yes and no. Sound complicated? Well, that's life - yes and no - not black and white as that leads to issues that will never go away. Luckily I've always enjoyed the many shades of grey...just don't ask me to make a quick decision... it'll never happen (ask Lynne - it's one of my personality quirks that can drive her to distraction). Update - weight is still decreasing though not as fast; still learning how to let go ..... ; focusing on gratitude and positive thinking; exploring prayer - interesting concept for an atheist but finally understanding that it's not who you pray to but what you pray about that matters. Saving details for next month's "big reveal" - just wanted to let everyone know that I'm still hanging in there. In peace with love...

Less Than 3 Months To Go

Surprise! The end of my challenge is coming up quickly now. I skipped writing last month because I was just tired of putting down the same old stuff. It seems to be taking me forever to learn what the universe is trying to teach me. I have managed to get myself back to where I was at the beginning of this challenge. How did I do that? Oh it's so easy..... but I have learned something this time.

First, I'm eating okay but also things that I know don't do me any good - like milk - hence my Rosacea is back with a vengeance; my colitis is taking forever to respond to the meds that I'm taking; I never did manage 2 days in a row of no sugar which means that I have yet to get some relief from the candida albican that is in my system. On the plus side I haven't gained any of the weight back that I have lost and I am so much more aware of the things that I eat and do make much better decisions when choosing food.

Second, financially things have gotten decidedly harder again. Back to living paycheck to paycheck. I take full responsibility for this scenario. It's not that I don't work hard when I'm at a job ... it's that I am having a hard time filling up my work day with money making jobs. Sometimes all I hear is my mother's voice telling me that I'm lazy and will never get anywhere ... I know that it is not true but every time I think that I have removed that voice it finds me .... very insidious this voice especially when she really only said this to me to try to get me to clean my room but boy did it ever stick to my soul.

Third, spiritually .... this part of my challenge has always been pushed aside. Oh, I would do some tokens things towards evolving but nothing too serious. Well, let me tell you that here is where I have learned the most important lesson. If I am going to call my challenge a success then first I must have faith. Yes, there is a Santa Claus/God/Higher Being/Benevolent Universe .... whatever turns your crank. We are here to find happiness, joy, love and success. If you look hard enough those attributes have been in and around you all your life even through the hard times. Think, dream, pray as positive as you can. Be vigilant about all the negative thoughts throughout the day as they can destroy the good that is all around you .... send those thoughts packing.

From today till the end of this challenge my goal is to practice enjoying each day as best as I can. Finding fun things to do and going to bed with a sense of accomplishment for a day well lived. Let's see if any changes come my way ....

One of the guides I'll be using:

5 Months Left

Okay....the universe is sending me a message. Why does it have to be so cryptic? I am being made to relearn some lessons and I know I need to let go and believe that everything will be okay - so hard for me to do. One thing I do know is that most of my life has been lived by following societal norms ... no more. Time to break conventional ideals and follow my passion wherever it leads. Do I need a million dollars in the bank? No, I just need my bills paid with a little left over to have some fun. I am working on becoming healthier - one small step at a time - and it's working. My goal is to enjoy my days not just trudge through most to enjoy a few ... why not do things that I really love every day (like taking care of cats). This is radical thinking for me but it's also part of my spiritual growth as I will have to develop and maintain a certain level of faith in myself and the ability of the universe to provide all that I need and then some. Positive thinking, experiencing joy, loving my life .... ha .... the last part of my challenge is definitely spiritual - what do you know!

6 Months Left

Where has a year gone? Yes, it's been twelve months since I started all this and boy have there been changes in my life. I've also lost focus and the universe is sending me reminders not to do so. Time for updates....

Financially I have had money come into my life that was completely unexpected and it has allowed me to leave a job the was becoming boring and very detrimental to my emotional and physical well being. Since January money has been leaving me faster than it has been coming in and I find myself in the position of having to look for more work. I truly believe that there is something that I need to do and I'm being slowly guided to it. It's just so hard sometimes to just have faith and let the universe send me to where I need to go..... this means that I have to figure out the difference between what my gut tells me and my brain(which I think is screamingly loud). Well I still have 6 months in which to become worth a million dollars .... the hardest part is believing that it will happen.

Health - I've definitely started to lose weight now. I'm eating better and exercising on a regular basis. I'm taking supplements that do make me feel better or I notice a difference when I don't take them. ( Fish oil, vitamin D drops, and a multivitamin) The only thing that the doctor recommended to add was calcium. My colitis has flared up and is making it very hard to maintain a positive mind frame. I am back on my meds and seeing a specialist so hopefully it can be pushed back into remission quickly. I sometimes feel that there is so much more that I could be doing but that only makes me feels defeated and I try my best to not let my brain take me down that road too often.

Spiritually - What do I believe? I am part of something bigger .... everything and everyone is interconnected .... unconditional love is the strongest force available. Every day i try to do the following: quiet the mind, be guided by the heart, put love first, have faith in the reason that you are here at this time even if you can't fathom what it is, be grateful for all that you have and do your best to maintain a positive attitude no matter what gets thrown at you. I am hoping to be able to add 'living in the moment' soon but it's one of the hardest things that I have ever tried to do for myself but it will be the main focus of the next 6 months.

In peace, with love ....

Vision Boards

I had mentioned in an earlier posting that I was going to work on a vision board. I have done many variations over the years. I've had a hard time setting this one up. Oh, you could go to www.oprah.com or my favourite - www.tut.com - and sign up and create nifty vision boards. I have a marvelous one at tut.com. I've taken what I did there and created a small one for my daytimer....all to what seems like little effect ... which is why I think that I am having a hard time setting up a new one in my office.
I did something like a vision board over a decade ago and found it a few years ago. Wow....it was amazing what had actually come to be. What I had done was to take a cheap picture album and as I went though magazines, catalogs, newspapers, etc., I would cut out the pictures and articles that really appealed to me and put them in the album. I must have worked on it for a month, maybe a little longer, I can't quite remember. My life got interesting right around then and the album got filed away. That worked! Years later when I found it again, lo and behold, a lot of the items I had acquired versions of what I had picked. I didn't have the motorcycle though ... it still is lovely to look at and who knows what will happen in the future.
It's so easy to focus on things - a white volvo s60 with a sun roof would be fabulous - but I know that to create the 'things' you need to know what you really 'want' (not necessarily things). I guess that I need to go back and clear up my wants - the deep down ones - make my vision board accordingly, tuck it away and see what happens.
I think that what I am trying to say is to work on finding what it is that you truly want, write it down or use pictures, articles, whatever way you can express you wants and desires .... then let them go (hide/put them away assuming that they will come to be). Hunh! Let me know what happens.

Less than 7 months to go

March has been hard .... I've lost weight and my eating habits are coming around to mostly healthy choices but keeping a positive outlook had been difficult. There are things that I had wanted to do with my free time and somehow I have frittered it all away - like most of my life to this point (told you March was hard!) I'm easily distracted by television, Facebook games, anything really ... part of this is due to the change at my job with the naturopath - hours worked are sketchy and I'm used more as a babysitter than a housekeeper. Very disappointing but it is making me face what it is that I truly want to do with my life....slowly but surely it's coming into focus. I'm not quite ready to share the specifics yet but it won't be long before I'll reveal all.

March isn't a complete write off - my physical went well - no call back for high blood sugar or cholesterol and I have an appointment with a gastroenterologist in early April to set up my colonoscopy and to monitor my colitis. Income tax is done and money is already in the bank so I have some breathing room to start looking for more work for which I am very grateful. A plan, idea, vision for my future is slowly solidifying and an 'onward and upward' attitude is creeping into my being.

For now I will do what I know will get me to where I need to be - eat well, exercise at least 30 minutes a day, increase my daily meditation and expand my social contacts here in Cambridge (time to join something). Phew! April is almost upon us...

8 Months To Go

Last 4 weeks update - things are changing for me ever so slowly but the momentum is forward. I have managed to do 30 minutes of treadmill work 6 days a week for the past 4 weeks and I am starting to feel better. I just finished a "21 days of meditation" challenge and enjoyed it and will continue to explore it's benefits....I'll let you know how it goes next month. I'm much more determined to change my eating patterns. I have removed gluten from my diet for most days - when I do have wheat I notice the difference - I'm mucousy and lethargic. I've switched to goat milk products when I need a dairy fix and it's not as hard on my digestive system as cow's milk .... I'll still have the odd pat of butter(margarine just isn't the same). Next will be sugar - I registered high in candida on my food sensitivity test and when I did the home spit test it confirmed that this is something that I had better deal with. It also explains the constant cravings that I have for sweet things and a ravenous appetite. I will be working with my naturopath on a 60 day cleanse - sugar is my monster and my weight issues will no longer be a problem if I return my digestive system to a healthy balance.
Later this week I'm at my family doctor for my physical and will be sent for all the tests that need to be done - blood work, mammogram, colonoscopy and whatever else she can come up with. I'll be able to check off another box in life's things to do to take care of yourself list.
I've started work on my vision board - I'm using the closet doors that I look at when I'm sitting at my desk - hey... it works. They are the sliding doors kind and one door has the vision board and the other door has my "intentions" - to be healthy; to attract money with little effort; to fill each day with joy and a sense of accomplishment; and to start doing the impossible. It will be interesting to see what comes out of this over the next 8 months.
I've been working part time only and I will have to get more work soon but I feel that I need to take a little longer. January was for resting and deep healing. February seems to be more of the same but "changes" - they are a happenin' and in a profound manner....transformation has begun!

Haunting Melodies

Have you ever been haunted by music? Not in a happy way? I am .... by three of the silliest tunes - Rudolph the red nosed reindeer, I saw three ships, and for she's a jolly good fellow? Give me a break from these songs, please. They pop into my head daily with no reason for being there. I have absolutely no idea why and I'm not sure that I want to know. I'll be taking a shower and find myself midway though "Rudolph". Clean a toilet to the tune of "she's a jolly good fellow"! Make supper while humming "I saw three ships"......help!!! Worse part of all of this is that I don't know how long I've been humming along before I catch myself. The beginnings of insanity? Maybe - I used to say that when I grow up I want to be a bag lady ..... scary n'est pas?
I always have had music running through my head. Normally just background instrumental stuff - melodies with no lyrics. I know when I've been thinking about my mother because I'll start humming something from Carmen - her favourite opera -happy feelings surround me when that starts. No music for Dad - just comfy warm feelings. Maybe I should put a digital piano on my vision board - that might help release some of what's playing in my head.
What to do about my haunting? Really at a loss but I get a feeling that there is a message that my subconscious is sending me. I did find out that Rudolph is the all time favourite song of Ophelia - my new boss's daughter. I am for the most part a jolly good person. Those three ships .... could they be symbolizing my journey? I have divided my quest into three parts - health, wealth and spiritually .... hmmmm. Something to ponder.

9 Months Left

Wow! Where did the time go? I'm midway through the challenge. It doesn't feel like I've accomplished much of anything but I do know better. Amazing things have happened over the past nine months that I could never have dream up .... now I must get ready for the second half which I expect to be outstandingly entertaining.

Has my weight changed? Don't really know but my mindset concerning the food I'm putting in my mouth has. I still have many days where my appetite is voracious but I now know that I need to feed other parts of my life if I want to permanently lessen my appetite for food. Have just about removed all gluten from my diet and will remove cow's milk next. When you start reading labels life starts to get really interesting. Did you know that there is wheat in tomato soup? That threw me for a loop .... got to watch seasonings too (soya sauce - yes -really - I know - some are okay and others are not) .... my bifocals are getting quite the workout trying to read all that tiny print.

Financially I've taken a big step and left my job of 10+ years. I work 2 days a week right now which I really enjoy - I'm also enjoying the rest of the week with nothing on the schedule. I've decided that January will be a resting/healing month for me. It means using some of my savings to meet my financial obligations but the end result will be worth it. I've wanted time for reflection/meditation for a long time and now is the chance for me to do so.

Spiritually I feel at a crossroads .... not sure if I am looking for a more social practice of what I believe or if inner reflection is all that I need. I have the time this month to explore both.

What to do in the next four weeks:
- time to set up a new personal schedule
- finish setting up my office
- start new vision board
- work on short and long term goals
With more time on my hands, I should be checking in more often and posting updates.

Hang on, it's going to be a bumpy ride .... but lots of fun. In peace ....

2010 Review

Well, didn't the year end sneak up on me. It's been a year full of surprises and endings. Changes have been seemingly insignificant but with huge ramifications. I no longer allow myself to hide from the inner game that I have been playing concerning my health. Our scale has finally stopped working which is what I needed to happen since I was so focused on the numbers instead of slowly, daily doing what I know to be healthy for me. I've come to realize that it's not just food and exercise but enjoy the day - every day .... where is my joy coming from? .... time to stop planning to enjoy a future that will never arrive and finding joy and happiness in everyday moments. I am thoroughly bored with my life and it's time to change that. Leaving a job that drains the life out of me is a big step. I have slowly come to a certain understanding about the power of attraction and plan on following up with more direct actions in the coming year. I've been up, down and all around with my finances this year but over all I've tried to keep a positive mind set reminding myself daily that I have more than enough money and it's true - there's even a bit of extra left over these days.
Can't wait for the start of 2011 ..... it's going to be a year of miracles .... I can just feel it! :)

Less than 11 months to go

It's been a month since my last posting and I missed my regular date to update my progress. I can't say that it's because all these interesting things have been happening. It's more the case of lack of focus - letting things slide - maybe even a slight case of apathy. In other words - I've lost my focus. Why? I don't really know. I've had to go back to the beginning of this challenge and go over my notes as to what it is that I truly want. Some how, some way I've let things get out of hand. For example ... a few weeks ago there was this house in the local real estate section. Absolutely stunning - a Queen Anne built in the 1890's - updated and move in ready - 5 bedrooms - under $600,000 - well worth the money. Why not try the using the law of attraction to get that for me and Lynne? I just read "the Power" - sequel to the Secret. I'm pumped - why not me? .....

I can answer that today - because it's not what I truly want. I saw the house that I would like a few years ago when I started checking the local market - it shares a lot of similar features to the Queen Anne but in smaller scale - and it has an in ground pool :) - for half the price (still out of our price range for now). Lynne and I would be happy in the smaller house while I'm not too sure about the Queen Anne. What do I truly want? -to not work for anyone, to have money flowing into my bank account with little effort on my part, to have a home that Lynne and I can make ours and use as a healing space/sanctuary, to be healthy in mind, body and spirit.

I just read what I wrote ... I already have most of what I want. Time to get back to being grateful for what I have because my true wants are being covered .... I just have to keep doing what I'm doing and I know that everything will go from good to great without much effort. The power of gratitude, optimism and love will get me everything that I truly want ... just keep focused on what's important - surround myself with people who love and respect me; keep saying the only prayer that I know "thank you"; keep a positive attitude; and focus on my true wants and needs.

I stopped stepping on the weigh scale because the focus was on whether I gained or lost that week instead of how healthy I was treating myself. It's time to stop looking at the real estate pages and other flyer's that show me what I don't have but should get so that 'my life would be soo much better if I had them'....I've dabbled with vision boards - maybe I should focus on creating one that I can see every day. Will let you know how that goes...

Something New

Last week had to have been one of the more emotionally negative ones that I have had in a long time. What set me off? Not too sure but I do have an idea and it involves several components - physical hunger from dieting, having exacting standards to live up to.... mine not someone else's....and ignoring the signs that my body keeps trying to send me. Driving to work Wednesday morning ... it's still dark as it's only 5:30 in the morning.... and I'm miserable to the point of weepiness. I start talking out loud as if I'm in a therapy session (it does work for me) .... describing how I feel. It was like I opened a door .... no.... I let it open - inside is a black hole that consumes all that is positive - moods, self image, etc. Holy crap!!!! I could not figure out what happened Tuesday to set this off. It wasn't a particularly great day and I've had so many that have been much worse. My head keeps going around in circles ..... out of the blue a thought comes to me clear as anything .... it's hungry and you haven't been feeding it! Holy crap on a stick I found my monster ... you know the one that has been giving me such a hard time! What now??? Slaying monsters isn't in my repertoire...anyways it's a part of me not some external hazard. Time for something new.
1: put away the scale - every time I step on it I'm disappointed with myself.
2: eat what I like within reason - I know what is good for me and what hurts me - I didn't binge the rest of the week but it was a close thing and I certainly did't eat all that healthily.
3: there are all these things in my head that I want to do - time to do them
4: I've been letting everyone around me drive my life - time to take control back one step at a time
5: the disappointment that I think I see in other peoples eyes is just a reflection of how I feel about myself - focus within not without!
These should keep me busy for a while ..... got to go - there's work to be done

12 Months To Go

Wow, looking back at the past six months makes me giddy over what will be happening in the coming year. I've learned so much about myself and how I can sabotage myself in the blink of an eye. There is still a lot for me to work on but most important is to focus on making my life the fun adventure that it should be instead of sitting and waiting for what ends up to be "nothing" - literally. Nothing will happen if I don't make some kind of effort to improve myself.

Money is flowing in and I'm able to finish things from the past that have been holding me back ... finally have a savings account that is slowly growing. How nice is that?

My job change is so exciting. For two days of the work week I'm totally content. The other three days are just letting my know how toxic my work environment has been - physically, mentally and emotionally - can't wait to leave.

Health matters have been slowly but surely changing for the better. I will be making my health a priority in the coming months. Spiritually, I haven't been doing what I would like to but I do know that it will all come together - one small step at a time.

This, my birth month, will be for organizing and finishing what needs to be done before my life adventure goes into higher gear. Am I excited? - you betcha!

13 Months

Okay....my work on positive thinking\behaving seems to be working in amazing ways. There is money in the bank, past financial issues are finally getting put behind me, a new career is just around the corner and wow ... who woulda thunk the past 30 days would ever have happened. What I've learned is that you need to throw out to the universe what you want\need and not think about how it's going to come about. I finally let go the 'how' and things just started rolling at me ... freaking me out at times but I can get used to it :)

Health and weight issues have been placed on a back burner but no more. I've issued a friendly challenge to a good friend to lose 25 pounds by Christmas and she has accepted it. She's also doing much better than I at accomplishing the goal but I can easily catch up. I was at the naturopath yesterday and got my 'meds' (vitamins and herbs to build up my immune system). The meds also help with appetite .... my cravings subside and I do less grazing during the day. With cooler days finally here it should be easier to get out walking.

Spiritually things have gotten really quiet. I never did do those 21 days of meditation but the lessons are now on my computer and hopefully I'll give them a go soon because I do feel that there is something that I need to learn in those lessons before I can move on in my spiritual quest.

Next month is birthday month and I will be focusing on what I hope to accomplish in the coming year .... can't wait to see what's in store for me in the months to come.