8 Months To Go

Last 4 weeks update - things are changing for me ever so slowly but the momentum is forward. I have managed to do 30 minutes of treadmill work 6 days a week for the past 4 weeks and I am starting to feel better. I just finished a "21 days of meditation" challenge and enjoyed it and will continue to explore it's benefits....I'll let you know how it goes next month. I'm much more determined to change my eating patterns. I have removed gluten from my diet for most days - when I do have wheat I notice the difference - I'm mucousy and lethargic. I've switched to goat milk products when I need a dairy fix and it's not as hard on my digestive system as cow's milk .... I'll still have the odd pat of butter(margarine just isn't the same). Next will be sugar - I registered high in candida on my food sensitivity test and when I did the home spit test it confirmed that this is something that I had better deal with. It also explains the constant cravings that I have for sweet things and a ravenous appetite. I will be working with my naturopath on a 60 day cleanse - sugar is my monster and my weight issues will no longer be a problem if I return my digestive system to a healthy balance.
Later this week I'm at my family doctor for my physical and will be sent for all the tests that need to be done - blood work, mammogram, colonoscopy and whatever else she can come up with. I'll be able to check off another box in life's things to do to take care of yourself list.
I've started work on my vision board - I'm using the closet doors that I look at when I'm sitting at my desk - hey... it works. They are the sliding doors kind and one door has the vision board and the other door has my "intentions" - to be healthy; to attract money with little effort; to fill each day with joy and a sense of accomplishment; and to start doing the impossible. It will be interesting to see what comes out of this over the next 8 months.
I've been working part time only and I will have to get more work soon but I feel that I need to take a little longer. January was for resting and deep healing. February seems to be more of the same but "changes" - they are a happenin' and in a profound manner....transformation has begun!

Haunting Melodies

Have you ever been haunted by music? Not in a happy way? I am .... by three of the silliest tunes - Rudolph the red nosed reindeer, I saw three ships, and for she's a jolly good fellow? Give me a break from these songs, please. They pop into my head daily with no reason for being there. I have absolutely no idea why and I'm not sure that I want to know. I'll be taking a shower and find myself midway though "Rudolph". Clean a toilet to the tune of "she's a jolly good fellow"! Make supper while humming "I saw three ships"......help!!! Worse part of all of this is that I don't know how long I've been humming along before I catch myself. The beginnings of insanity? Maybe - I used to say that when I grow up I want to be a bag lady ..... scary n'est pas?
I always have had music running through my head. Normally just background instrumental stuff - melodies with no lyrics. I know when I've been thinking about my mother because I'll start humming something from Carmen - her favourite opera -happy feelings surround me when that starts. No music for Dad - just comfy warm feelings. Maybe I should put a digital piano on my vision board - that might help release some of what's playing in my head.
What to do about my haunting? Really at a loss but I get a feeling that there is a message that my subconscious is sending me. I did find out that Rudolph is the all time favourite song of Ophelia - my new boss's daughter. I am for the most part a jolly good person. Those three ships .... could they be symbolizing my journey? I have divided my quest into three parts - health, wealth and spiritually .... hmmmm. Something to ponder.

9 Months Left

Wow! Where did the time go? I'm midway through the challenge. It doesn't feel like I've accomplished much of anything but I do know better. Amazing things have happened over the past nine months that I could never have dream up .... now I must get ready for the second half which I expect to be outstandingly entertaining.

Has my weight changed? Don't really know but my mindset concerning the food I'm putting in my mouth has. I still have many days where my appetite is voracious but I now know that I need to feed other parts of my life if I want to permanently lessen my appetite for food. Have just about removed all gluten from my diet and will remove cow's milk next. When you start reading labels life starts to get really interesting. Did you know that there is wheat in tomato soup? That threw me for a loop .... got to watch seasonings too (soya sauce - yes -really - I know - some are okay and others are not) .... my bifocals are getting quite the workout trying to read all that tiny print.

Financially I've taken a big step and left my job of 10+ years. I work 2 days a week right now which I really enjoy - I'm also enjoying the rest of the week with nothing on the schedule. I've decided that January will be a resting/healing month for me. It means using some of my savings to meet my financial obligations but the end result will be worth it. I've wanted time for reflection/meditation for a long time and now is the chance for me to do so.

Spiritually I feel at a crossroads .... not sure if I am looking for a more social practice of what I believe or if inner reflection is all that I need. I have the time this month to explore both.

What to do in the next four weeks:
- time to set up a new personal schedule
- finish setting up my office
- start new vision board
- work on short and long term goals
With more time on my hands, I should be checking in more often and posting updates.

Hang on, it's going to be a bumpy ride .... but lots of fun. In peace ....

2010 Review

Well, didn't the year end sneak up on me. It's been a year full of surprises and endings. Changes have been seemingly insignificant but with huge ramifications. I no longer allow myself to hide from the inner game that I have been playing concerning my health. Our scale has finally stopped working which is what I needed to happen since I was so focused on the numbers instead of slowly, daily doing what I know to be healthy for me. I've come to realize that it's not just food and exercise but enjoy the day - every day .... where is my joy coming from? .... time to stop planning to enjoy a future that will never arrive and finding joy and happiness in everyday moments. I am thoroughly bored with my life and it's time to change that. Leaving a job that drains the life out of me is a big step. I have slowly come to a certain understanding about the power of attraction and plan on following up with more direct actions in the coming year. I've been up, down and all around with my finances this year but over all I've tried to keep a positive mind set reminding myself daily that I have more than enough money and it's true - there's even a bit of extra left over these days.
Can't wait for the start of 2011 ..... it's going to be a year of miracles .... I can just feel it! :)

Less than 11 months to go

It's been a month since my last posting and I missed my regular date to update my progress. I can't say that it's because all these interesting things have been happening. It's more the case of lack of focus - letting things slide - maybe even a slight case of apathy. In other words - I've lost my focus. Why? I don't really know. I've had to go back to the beginning of this challenge and go over my notes as to what it is that I truly want. Some how, some way I've let things get out of hand. For example ... a few weeks ago there was this house in the local real estate section. Absolutely stunning - a Queen Anne built in the 1890's - updated and move in ready - 5 bedrooms - under $600,000 - well worth the money. Why not try the using the law of attraction to get that for me and Lynne? I just read "the Power" - sequel to the Secret. I'm pumped - why not me? .....

I can answer that today - because it's not what I truly want. I saw the house that I would like a few years ago when I started checking the local market - it shares a lot of similar features to the Queen Anne but in smaller scale - and it has an in ground pool :) - for half the price (still out of our price range for now). Lynne and I would be happy in the smaller house while I'm not too sure about the Queen Anne. What do I truly want? -to not work for anyone, to have money flowing into my bank account with little effort on my part, to have a home that Lynne and I can make ours and use as a healing space/sanctuary, to be healthy in mind, body and spirit.

I just read what I wrote ... I already have most of what I want. Time to get back to being grateful for what I have because my true wants are being covered .... I just have to keep doing what I'm doing and I know that everything will go from good to great without much effort. The power of gratitude, optimism and love will get me everything that I truly want ... just keep focused on what's important - surround myself with people who love and respect me; keep saying the only prayer that I know "thank you"; keep a positive attitude; and focus on my true wants and needs.

I stopped stepping on the weigh scale because the focus was on whether I gained or lost that week instead of how healthy I was treating myself. It's time to stop looking at the real estate pages and other flyer's that show me what I don't have but should get so that 'my life would be soo much better if I had them'....I've dabbled with vision boards - maybe I should focus on creating one that I can see every day. Will let you know how that goes...

Something New

Last week had to have been one of the more emotionally negative ones that I have had in a long time. What set me off? Not too sure but I do have an idea and it involves several components - physical hunger from dieting, having exacting standards to live up to.... mine not someone else's....and ignoring the signs that my body keeps trying to send me. Driving to work Wednesday morning ... it's still dark as it's only 5:30 in the morning.... and I'm miserable to the point of weepiness. I start talking out loud as if I'm in a therapy session (it does work for me) .... describing how I feel. It was like I opened a door .... no.... I let it open - inside is a black hole that consumes all that is positive - moods, self image, etc. Holy crap!!!! I could not figure out what happened Tuesday to set this off. It wasn't a particularly great day and I've had so many that have been much worse. My head keeps going around in circles ..... out of the blue a thought comes to me clear as anything .... it's hungry and you haven't been feeding it! Holy crap on a stick I found my monster ... you know the one that has been giving me such a hard time! What now??? Slaying monsters isn't in my repertoire...anyways it's a part of me not some external hazard. Time for something new.
1: put away the scale - every time I step on it I'm disappointed with myself.
2: eat what I like within reason - I know what is good for me and what hurts me - I didn't binge the rest of the week but it was a close thing and I certainly did't eat all that healthily.
3: there are all these things in my head that I want to do - time to do them
4: I've been letting everyone around me drive my life - time to take control back one step at a time
5: the disappointment that I think I see in other peoples eyes is just a reflection of how I feel about myself - focus within not without!
These should keep me busy for a while ..... got to go - there's work to be done

12 Months To Go

Wow, looking back at the past six months makes me giddy over what will be happening in the coming year. I've learned so much about myself and how I can sabotage myself in the blink of an eye. There is still a lot for me to work on but most important is to focus on making my life the fun adventure that it should be instead of sitting and waiting for what ends up to be "nothing" - literally. Nothing will happen if I don't make some kind of effort to improve myself.

Money is flowing in and I'm able to finish things from the past that have been holding me back ... finally have a savings account that is slowly growing. How nice is that?

My job change is so exciting. For two days of the work week I'm totally content. The other three days are just letting my know how toxic my work environment has been - physically, mentally and emotionally - can't wait to leave.

Health matters have been slowly but surely changing for the better. I will be making my health a priority in the coming months. Spiritually, I haven't been doing what I would like to but I do know that it will all come together - one small step at a time.

This, my birth month, will be for organizing and finishing what needs to be done before my life adventure goes into higher gear. Am I excited? - you betcha!