Time for change

I have been in a career rut for years. The work day goes by fast enough since I'm always busy but there has been something missing and I now need to change and find that missing "something". What to do next....I really don't know what I want. I've tried meditating, researching, praying for inspiration, you name it and nothing really jumped out at me.

So I went on Kijiji to see if anything struck my fancy. Surprisingly something did -housekeeping - the old fashioned kind of housekeeping. It satisfies most of my needs: to be of service, to work in a healthy environment, to be physically active, to have control over how I do my work, and to have more free time for personal pursuits. I realized that what I miss most is eating breakfast at home, being able to schedule exercise before work, relaxing in the evening without feeling guilty. Right now I'm spending 15 hours a week commuting - working close to home will free up 10 hours minimum depending on where my clients are located. I'm already in discussion with a potential client. Very exciting.....

A major shake up in my career zone is probably the best thing that I could do for myself. I will have lots to learn, set up, figure out, and do ... life isn't so boring now .... phew.

15 Months

So.....the last four weeks have been interesting. I opened a tax free savings account and deposited my first $50.00. Very exciting. Still putting 10% into my savings account every pay but will need most of it to cover things. Our car was stolen Friday night ... it's happily back in the garage tonight - lower on gas with a parking ticket but none the worse for it's adventure. Started exercising.... 4 days in a row and counting. I'm not exercising in the morning, that's just not working out but I have been going after supper. Tonight I was late with rescuing the car from the tow lot so I skipped the exercises and went straight for my walk. My weight is 223 ... down - not much but happily down. An interesting by product of the car drama is that I actually wasn't hungry ... that's right I lost my appetite instead of eating everything in sight. Wow! Get ready people, I feel some craziness is due ....

Enough - time to move

This week's challenge: exercise first thing in the morning everyday. I can do this - I must do this - If I get up at 4:30 I can have a glass of lemon water as the dogs do the morning pee pee thing, do my exercises which take no more than 15 minutes then go for a walk around the big block which takes 20 minutes. I could then have a quick shower, pack my lunch and be on the road before 6am. It's very doable. I'm writing this sweating up a storm because I just came back from doing the above. It's just not 5am. :)

I'm angry, frustrated, lots of negative energy. Some from the stolen car issue, most from my lack of pushing through blocks. I've done it before so I know that it's not as hard as my ego tells me it is. I am self aware enough to know that it all stems from a fear of success but now it's time to find out what will happen as I start to do the things that will make me successful. Fear/ no fear - it's time. Back to the negative energy.... exercise and good eating habits will be what helps me turn this energy into something positive. I've had enough of procrastination ...

10 Years and counting

Ten years ago today my life went from having dinner with fat cat Harry trying to paw the fish off my plate to having all the dining rooms chairs filled with a partner and two young teen boys and skittish Pearl giving Harry a hard time. Wow! It doesn't seem that long ago but then the two teens are now grown men living under different roofs then us. Huh! Both Harry and Pearl are gone now and have been replaced by Monkees and Squeeky with their doggy friends Shaggy Dude and Juanita. ( I still miss Pete the minpin - the little PITA (pain in the ass) dog- he was always good for a laugh and a snuggle)

Yes Lynne and I have had our fair share of ups and downs, some of them quite dramatic at times but I wouldn't change one minute of it. If anything the past couple of years have been too quiet.... moving to Cambridge was an adventure but a really tame one. We are due to bust out with some crazy scheme and get back into the adventure of life together. Not another dog .... no .... though there is a cute one at the pound .... I would call her Phoebe ... no! no! no!

Lately our focus has been on medical issues - some of them frightening but we are both on our way to getting healthier - day by day - small changes - restarts - eyes getting brighter - hopefully trouble (the good kind) soon to follow.

I look forward to the next 10 years... how can I not when all Lynne has to do is walk into the room I'm in and my soul sings! (Telephone calls work too). There is nothing better than that. Can't wait to see what we get up to next.

Hey my honeythebunny, Happy Anniversary!

I've been BAD

Yes, that's right bad .... really bad. I've had ice cream, beef bbq sandwiches, coffee with cream and sugar, etc. Why do we talk to ourselves like we are 4 years old looking at a pack of matches ... don't touch that it's baaad!. It's not a nice way of treating yourself is it? I've been listening to a book on tape by Deepak Chopra - The Book of Secrets - it's very good. I'll have to get a hard copy to go over it again since it has lots of subtle ideas that once in my head they won't go away. The book speaks to me on a spiritual level with practical applications. I'm only half way through but already I'm starting to see things differently. Like why am I "bad"? I'm not, I just am not making great food choices for my health. I was very discouraged early last week and I let it stay with me. I had a big bill for car repairs and let everything I've been working on fly out the window. Being bad ... I guess deep down I wish it was as simple as that. Let me be a 4 year old because others had the responsibility of taking care of me and my surroundings. I don't need to grow up, I need to take action. ( I say that a lot these days) Non action, procrastination, denial are all signs of accepting the status quo. That's not what I want. My mantra this week ... small steps make big changes. Forget the bad, my choices were just that, choices. Time to let it go and make new choices. (: the ice cream was very good - too good to really be 'bad' :) Growth comes from the challenging days not the easy ones...I've been growing.

16 Months Left

Wow, where did those 4 weeks go. What to report ... well weight loss was insignificant. The bank accounts look much as they did last month. I revealed that I'm crazy and talk to squirrels. Hunh! It's been an interesting month in that things are happening in the back of my brain. Deeper understanding of what I want, what I truly want is starting to form. Have you ever asked yourself the question 'if you had access to all the money you would ever need what would you do?'? That has been the focus of the back of my brain and this month answers are slowly percolating forward. I never before could truly come up with an answer to that question but finally something has clicked in my dark recesses and answers are now forthcoming. I will share those answers in future postings. I feel like an artist who's not yet willing to let others look at her work in progress. Don't worry I wont make you wait until it's finished.

No weight loss this month. I've been eating much better. The only trouble I have is meat and eggs. I will only have eggs once a week and the meat that I will have is usually chicken with an occasional bite of turkey bacon(yum). 80% of the time I've been eating vegetarian and drinking my almond milk like a good girl(I getting used to it now, it's quite tasty). My naturopath has me taking some herbal stuff that should clear up my skin .... yuch!!!! My focus for this coming month will be exercise, exercise, exercise.

Financially I'm still putting 10% aside each pay. I needed all of it last month to cover everything coming out of the account last month but I'm determined to get some savings started. I'm trying to focus on the positive things that I have been doing. I got us this far, I do more right things then not.

Spiritually, well yes I'm nuts(and yes that's a squirrel reference). We did go to the UU church in Waterloo and enjoyed the service it was a discussion on Zen. I do plan on going again.

Overall, I'm entering the next four weeks with a quiet determination to make lasting changes to how I live this life of mine. Not big dramatic changes but small lasting ones. It feels good to have this determination come back .... I've missed it for a long time.

Insanity .....

"doing the same thing over and over again and expecting something different" - Albert Einstein.(my hair idol)

I have been insane......thanks for the reality check Albert.